Day Three: Plans change, what can you do?
Today was always going to be hectic. We were supposed to be fitting in a trip to York St Bloch store, picking up hubby’s new 1960’s espresso machine (he’s a barista), going around to another shop to get some extra parts for said machine and visiting some gorgeous family members who we haven’t seen in way too long.
After driving the bus through city traffic yesterday, we kind of started thinking that a trip to the York St Bloch store was a pretty big ask. We would be very lucky to get a park, most likely hubby would have to drop me and drive around until I was ready to be picked up, which wasn’t going to be a relaxed experience. Then we also had some time issues and realised that we couldn’t do that store today as it was too out of the way. If I wanted to go to that store we would need to go there tomorrow, right before my private ballet lesson. And the thought of buying things for my lesson, that last minute, started stressing me out.
We found out there was another store, at Macarthur Square, and decided that we would squeeze a visit in there today instead of the York St store.
So we went off and bought hubby’s espresso machine, which is absolutely stunning. Saw an old friend at the same time as that. Then we went to get spare parts for the machine and then headed out to the Bloch store.
I have to say that I found it harder than I thought I would to let go of going to the York St store. I felt uneasy the entire trip to Bloch’s. It wasn’t what I had planned. I wasn’t sure they would stock what I needed. I felt rushed as we were hurrying to get to our catch up with family. And you know, it wasn’t York Street!
The closer we got to the store the worse I felt. Nauseous, headache, flushed. I started feeling nervous. Really nervous. When we were almost at the store I started to recognise where the feelings were coming from. I realised that I felt embarrassed. I didn’t feel deserving of spending this money on ballet gear. I felt silly. Like I was just some woman from the bush, who didn’t take many proper classes — what did I really need this gear for?
I realised at the same time that I was feeling similarly about my private class tomorrow. Like it’s a silly quest that I’m not really deserving of trying for.
I’m so glad I had these awarenesses. I was able to think more clearly about my internal dialogue and slow it all down in my head. I was able to calm things enough that I could reclaim the big picture and what’s important to me and why. I reminded myself of why I love ballet, how it has helped me, and then I started to feel better about everything. I was still nervous, but I was no longer being reactive.
So, I got to the Bloch store. There was a lovely assistant there called Elli (sorry, can’t remember the correct spelling), and they had everything that I wanted. I bought tights, ballet flats, a leotard and some bike shorts. I wanted the bike shorts to cover my hernia scars on my bikini line, and I think they look really cute! 😀
I have to say, the leather ballet flats are GORGEOUS on my feet. Amazingly soft, snug, and just divine to wear. I wanted both the canvas and the leather, but I ended up going with the leather and taking the name and size of both shoes so that I could buy them online in the future. Turns out I’m a Bloch 5.5 and yes, I am still a width “A”.
I will have a photo taken tomorrow of some of the gear if any of you say you would like to see it.
So, it was all okay in the end. But I am still feeling a little disappointed that we didn’t get into the York St Bloch store. Maybe next time? And I have learned the lesson that I need to bring myself back into me, and be less reactive to things around me (and inside my head!)
After all this we got out to see our family and have a lovely afternoon tea with them. I got to hold the newest member of our family and share hugs and catch-ups with some beautiful people. It was a great way to end the day.
I didn’t get a lot of photos today, apart from some Bloch related ones, so that is all I have. Enjoy!
Inside the Bloch store at Macarthur Square…
Me with my goodies bag…
And a little pointe shoe key ring that hubby bought me after I had left the store…
How cute is that pointe shoe keyring!?!
Must go to sleep now. Important stuff happening tomorrow! 😀