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Hello Old Self, Good To See You Again…

Inch by inch, progress is being made. Actually more like millimetre by millimetre. But the amount really doesn’t matter, it’s progress all the same. 🙂

I’ve been slowly slowly just motioning through this tough as hell physical rehab. [‘motioning’ = going through the motions.] And every now and then I get a tiny little breakthrough that makes me feel like there is hope for progress. 

Most importantly these breakthroughs make me feel more like my old self. 

No, my ‘old self’ wasn’t something special on the dance floor. No, we’re not talking about a prima ballerina in recovery here. 

But fuck titles, I’m a person, a woman, a human being, an adult ballet student — and what I want to achieve is just as important as a prima ballerina.

So, yeah, I want to feel like my old, struggling, flying-to-get-to-ballet-classes, beginner ballet student self. I love that self. And I love when I feel a smidge of it again.

So today, my breakthrough was higher, stronger developpé positions. I had done the rest of my class and then I was doing some gentle developpés. I was about to begin and heard myself ask ‘could I go higher this time?’ and then I heard myself answer simply, ‘do you want to do it?’ A moment of calm and clear came over me and I just went into it, lifted my leg up, pulled up and really held the extended leg with strength. I felt my core engaged and all my working leg muscles engage as well as my standing leg. I broke my first sweat, since being back at ballet, right then in that moment. 

It. Was. Awesome.

How we see ourselves has such a huge impact on how we behave, our actions — which in turn create who we are. 

I want you all to see yourselves as strong, worthy, capable beauties. Because you all are. We all are.

We may be limited in certain ways. We are certainly all flawed. But nothing can stop your beauty from shining through.

Let down your guard. Be okay with yourself. And watch the miracles of self-acceptance start bursting into life.

I’m more than okay with you. I reckon y’all rock!

I’ll leave you with a photo of me resetting my heart rate after doing the fondu.

Be proud of you,

Zoe xxx

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