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Ballet Books, DVD's and YouTube Videos?

One of our lovely adult ballet students is unable to get to classes at the moment, or even get the energy up to do much ballet and they would love to know of any good YouTube videos, books or DVD’s that show decent ballet instruction so they can keep up with ballet at home.

I’m putting the call out to all you wonderful students. Do you know any good DVD’s, books or YouTube videos that you like that you think would be of use?

If you have anything to contribute please pop it in the comments. It will be much appreciated.

Thanks.

xxx

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Please Don't Believe in Me

… because seriously, it would be so much easier that way.

The drums of negative self-belief could keep beating.

My heart could stay caged.

The comfort zone of all I have ever seen could remain securely in my surrounds.

I wouldn’t have to step even a toe through that grating, uncomfortable barrier that has been gripping me so tightly.

I could continue to avoid confronting what has kept me here…

…in this place of “I can’t” and “I don’t deserve”.

I can dodge the pain that comes with asking “Why?”

I could continue to feel as though all is right.

I could avoid the fight.

But ya know, I can’t do any of that, when you take my hand and walk me to the land of believing.

When you gently and magically clear the dust and show me what could be.

When you matter-of-factly show me what I could do. How I could feel. What Ideserve.

When you tell me you think I can.

These notions fill my mind with crazy ideas of…

Hope.

Belief.

Pride.

OMG. Wait, what? “Pride?”

That is the strangest damn sensation I’ve ever experienced.

How about..

Confidence?

Strength?

Capability?

I have only started feeling these things since starting ballet. And more intensely since going to Studio Tibor and getting such amazing ballet /therapy from Tibor and Vadym.

My first class at QLD Ballet moved things around in me also — and I’m not talking about pie!

(Because despite being an activity that requires much correction, it is somehow a nurturing expansive experience in which you cannot help but progress in some way.)

And now, as I stare down the barrel of more and more ballet, with more and more confronting of internal beliefs, this crap just gets louder and louder.

I know I have to move through them all. And I will. And it will be a sublime day when I reach the other side.

I want to thank my teachers for being such a huge inspiration.

And I want all you wonderful amazing adult dancers out there to know that I am so intensely inspired by each of you. Whether you relate to my self-belief journey or not, doesn’t matter to me.

I read your stories and hear your journeys and they fill me up with such admiration. You give me a sense of tangible possibility.

“If they can, I can!”

I can live my belief vicariously through you all. And I do. πŸ˜‰

But for now, I was thinking, maybe we could substitute “I believe in you” with something else, you know, like so as to avoid direct contact with the big “B”? Maybe something like…

“Those apples are lovely.” Or…

“The weather’s looking good.” Or…

“Your arse looks great in those jeans.”

I was thinking, you know, if I throw a nice developpe or pirouette, I could handle a little “Those apples are lovely” waaaaaaaay easier than a direct compliment on my dancing.

Yeah! Let’s do that!

If someone says any of the above to me I’m just going to go ‘Oh, cool!’

No freak out. No need to run to the nearest corner and take to the fetal position.

I wanted to share thisΒ with others now because of the vague possibility that it might help someone else. I don’t want others to feel they are alone in feeling self-doubt or that you will never get to where want to be.

You are not alone. We can move forward together.

You will be awesome!

But for now — please don’t tell me you believe in me.

Just tell me the weather’s looking good. πŸ˜‰

P.S — Your arse looks great in those jeans.

2*Disclaimer: This post was an emotional overflow. Probably no harm will come to those who use the “B” word. πŸ˜‰

Bush xxx

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The 2014 Wrap — A Pretty Amazing Year, Really!

2014, what a hurricane of a year! Feels like I have swirled from pillar to post in one of the most tumultuous years of my life.

I remember feeling, on several occasions, that I wouldn’t be able to continue ballet. Either for health reasons or just because of my isolation.

But I’m still here. I’m not going anywhere. And I have gained some clarity around my ballet journey and health issues that I know will help me continue to follow my heart.

After all, following my heart is what this whole journey has been about. Following my heart is the thing that interests me the most. It’s such a mind-blowingly powerful thing when you feel it.

I remember on one of my trips to Studio Tibor in Sydney this year, I had a moment where I looked around and felt my heart radiating with joy. And I thought about how I had followed my heart here, to this moment, and how perfectly alive, in-sync, and at home I felt.

It staggered me to think that my heart knew exactly what I wanted, before my mind or body did — and they were just catching up.

In preparation for this 2014 wrap post I have collected photos from my year, and I have to say, it has been a most uplifting experience.

This year was really scary sometimes. Like REALLY scary. And those scary times kind of linger in the background and can make it difficult to move on.

But move on we must.

And moving on I am.

So, let’s have a little looksee back at 2014 (or at least some of it) …

The first thing I did in 2014, like within the first week of 2014, was to meet Tibor Horvath in person for the first time — AND have my first lesson from him.

It was a private lesson in his big beautiful studio, chandeliers and all. It was incredible!

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It was a great start to the year.

There’s a line in the movie Annie about it being a bitter sweet thing to get a taste of something you can’t get any more of. And I felt exactly that bitter sweetness after that first lesson.

As we hit the road for home, I felt like my heart was being ripped out of my chest more and more as every kilometer passed. I had now had a taste of Studio Tibor life — and I didn’t want to leave it.

As we drove, I cried silently, and nursed my aching heart with the promise that I would return to that glorious studio again.

And I did. πŸ™‚

The following month I jumped on a plane…

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… and flew to Sydney for a class and a private with Tibor. It was glorious again.

A few months of health issues made my ballet journey a bit up and down.

Then in August I flew back down again. This time I had a private with Tibor and took my first class with Vadym. I loved, loved, loved that day! Amazing!

10613034_289293094591349_8669965332334805771_nAnd I was determined enough to get my derriere back down again in September. I did the same private with Tibor and class with Vadym. This combination was proving to be absolutely amazing for me and my ballet. It’s the most heavenly combo ever! πŸ™‚

The beautiful Tibor. Ballet, in every manifest, flows through this guy’s veins. He walks into the room and you go, “Oh, ballet just arrived.”

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The beautiful Tricia. This lady is one of my adult ballet inspirations. She’s so beautiful to watch that sometimes when we’re in a class together I want to stop what I’m doing and just watch her dance. She has the attitude that Tibor wants me to have. And I can see why.

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Snapshot 1 (28-12-2014 11-25 AM)

Snapshot 2 (28-12-2014 11-29 AM)

I was weaker during this trip. I wasn’t fully aware at the time, but in hindsight we know that my body was going down a little, and it affected my physical ability during this session and Vadym’s class afterwards. I was shakier, and my leg muscles were just collapsing.

BUT it was still a beautiful day. One of the best actually. Funny how that happens.

I got meself my first pair of point shoes!

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And then I got my second pair…

zoe

I kicked up my toes with some celebratory ballet at the river…

10685592_299268130260512_3872335899897530088_nFell in love with these…

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Built a mini studio in the bedroom.

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Made up some new moves…

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Started getting my strength back…

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And became Giselle…

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Wowsers! Turns out I did a whole bunch of awesome stuff this year! I really made stuff happen.

I achieved things I never would have thought possible before.

I challenged my self-beliefs.

I followed my heart, in spite of the fear.

And I felt the magic moment of arrival.Β The moment you arrive at your heart’s destination. Bathing in it. Soaking it up.

Following my heart was my favourite part of this year. I really just went for it.

This coming 2015 I hope to continue going for it, but I will be aiming for more consistency.

I will be following my heart, but remaining aware of what my body and mind need in order to keep following my heart.

2015 will be full of heart-following, loving, dancing, Studio Tibor, QLD Ballet, my beautiful little family, travelling, writing, dreaming, studio building, laughing with friends and body maintenance.

I wish everyone a wonderful end to 2014 and happy, glowing dreams of contentment and good moments for 2015.

Thanks for being part of my 2014 ride!

Bush xxx

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Pirouetting News!

Haha, okay I’ll start with a laugh, because this is kind of funny and it did make me laugh at myself.

SoΒ it turns out (pardon the pun) that you are supposed to retire during pirouette. I mean, I always new that your leg went somewhere like a retire position, but I realise now that you are supposed to do a complete proper retire!

I was practicing an exercise Tibor had taught me. It had a lot of going up into retire quickly. And I remembered him saying: “I’m getting you ready for pirouettes.” And all of a sudden I was like…

BOOM!!!!

I’m totally supposed to go full retire! Toes fully touching knee!

And it has made a huge difference! So much more stability and control. I know a lot of things go into stability, but for me, this one has had the most impact on my pirouettes.

So here’s a clip of me in tonight’s lesson, using full retire…

Enjoy! πŸ™‚

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Just in case you didn't already know…

follow me on facebook

https://www.facebook.com/BushBallerina

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Today I Danced

I danced today. First time in months. I needed to do it. I needed to escape the depression I have been feeling from not dancing.

It worked πŸ™‚

I danced to a stunning jazz rendition of Gymnopedies No. 1, a song that I think needs to have a ballet choreographed around it (seriously Tibor, you have to do that!). And it was blissful!

Of course I didn’t do much. Just some plies and fondus. But it was enough. It was like taking a magic pill.

My soul was recharged and relit.

I know I don’t want to hurt myself more. And I know I am afraid of this. But I am more afraid of losing my self. And my self is me when I dance.

I have been doing some pilates exercises and have started some small weight training to help with strength and they are definitely helping.

I will continue to research and have discussions with specialists and physios to get the best dancing outcome for myself. I am determined that I can find a way. Because I kind of have to. πŸ™‚

There is more to write but this is all I can manage right now. Photo is me today after ballet…

ballet after break

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Old Habits Die Hard

I wrote a post this morning about an interview project I wanted to begin.Β By this afternoon I knew I had to take that post down.

Because old habits die hard.

I realised that the things I have been working so hard to improve on, would lose my attention if I started up new time consuming projects. It’s an old habit of mine to self destruct. Right when you think you are going to start really seeing improvements or achievements in something you’re doing, you quickly find that very important new project to stop you in your progressive tracks. Very frustrating when you don’t see it coming.

I do have some great ideas of projects that I would love to work on. This is true. But now is not the best time to be putting my focus onto them.

Now is the time to focus on my own ballet experience. Now is the time for me to continue to dive into my love of ballet and learn to be the best I can be. I am craving improvement. I don’t know how much improvement I can achieve, but I do know that I want to give it my all.

I don’t think I was used to seeing better ballet as a possibility. But now I am seeing that. Yay!Β πŸ˜€ πŸ™‚ πŸ˜€

Ballet is also my therapy. It is my healing. And honestly, my need for that therapy is more important now than my need to feed habitual and negative self-beliefs. In that way, I think the physical and emotional healing I get from ballet, is now extending to healing of self-beliefs. How incredible is that? I never would have thought when I started ballet that I would get so many benefits from it. I am so, so blessed. And there is more healing to be done. I am not done dancing, I’m just beginning. I have only just seen a glimpse of what is possible if I were to achieve my potential, and I’m all like “Yeah, let’s go there! Let’s go full potential!”Β Β LOL πŸ˜‰

So, there it is. No interviews for now. Just ballet.

BB

P.S — Always go full potential!