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Give Your Dreams a Spark (aka: saying them out loud)

Remember this…

Uncaging Secrets

Okay, so upon thinking about it overnight I realise that this isn’t really that deep or dark a secret. And I may have even mentioned it here before, but I am admitting it super duperly, no-turning-back, loud and clear now… 

I wanna know want it feels like to dance en pointe. 

In other words… I WANT TO DANCE EN POINTE! 
In other, other words: I want to slide my feet into pointe shoes, strap those baby’s on and take a tour of the dance floor. 
There. I said it. I mean, it’s obviously not really that much of a secret, but I haven’t gone all out with it before because I feel like such a dick when I say it. Like, I want to crawl under a table when I say it. 
I may, or may not be crawling under a table right now. 
I still have people in my real life finding out that I do ballet from my deck in the bush, and some are overwhelmingly positive about it and others don’t get it. Although I still feel very uncomfortable when people want to talk about it (especially when they don’t get it but want to keep talking about it), I have learned to remind myself that it may seem silly to other people, but to me it was either ballet or a therapist, medication and some pretty dark shit. 
So to choose ballet seems like the most un-silly thing in the world — to me. 
My point is that I’m getting better at not crawling under the table when people say they heard about my ballet (I think about the table but I don’t go there) 😉 
But if I think about allowing myself to want pointe work? ….. 
Damn the underside of this table is cosy. 😉 
Okay, so I have been thinking hypothetically for a while about this and I want to start thinking literally. 
Could I literally do this? I feel like there are so many factors involved. Like how do you learn pointe work if you can only get to an in person class every few months? How do you know you’re ready? How do you even know you have the right shoes without your teacher seeing you dance in them again and again? How do remain safe? What if you snap your ankle? 
Why am I thinking about crazy things like pointe shoes? Where has my table gone? 
But hang on a sec. Take a breath and calm a little down. Okay, calm a lot down! Is it possible that a sensible person could do an absolute beginner pointe class, or record a private absolute beginner pointe class, and then just keep repeating that at home? And then learn more at their next class, and go home and repeat and practice that — and just repeat that again and again? And I’m not talking about starting turns en pointe. I’ve seen how intense pointe classes are, I ain’t stupid. 
I’m just thinking about starting with the prep work and then the barre work. 
Is it possible? 
So, here’s the thing, I don’t know if it’s possible or not, but it is a desire that is growing inside me. It’s getting closer and closer to the surface. I’m sure you all remember taking your first ballet class as an adult? I’m sure you remember the build up to that class, the moment you decided it had to stop being an idea and start being real? 
That’s what this feels like. I am terrified that I will be terrible at it, my feet will break and I will be mortified by the whole experience — but despite all those fears, I am feeling more and more pull towards having a go. 
I want to add that experience to my ballet journey. I would love to know when I would be ready for it. In any case, it’s a huge thing for me to be letting this secret out of the vault. So I’m gonna just let it hang around with me. Let it be present with me and allow it to exist and breathe for a while. 
Well, thanks for listening. Here’s to uncaging secrets. Here’s to these feet possibly being in pointe shoes some day! “

  

I was thinking, almost boringly, about how I need to order a new pair of pointe shoes soon, when it dawned on me that just a few months ago I was sweating with fear about going into a bloch shop and asking to be fitted for my first pair of pointes.

And I remembered this post. And as I reread through it I could tangibly feel my desire to try pointe work. And as I felt the memories of those feelings and desires I started feeling pretty darn proud. 

I did it!

I took the leap of faith. I refused to let the doubt keep me imprisoned. 

I felt the fear and did it anyway.

I was safe. Overly cautious. And completely aware of everything that could go wrong. 

But I took itty bitty steps. And slowly eased myself into this dream. 

Then I eased my feet into those point shoes.

Then I stood up en pointe in those pointe shoes.

I did it! 

And how did it feel to finally do it?

The emotional and mental feelings were all jumbled and mixed up during this process, and are a bit of a blur. 

But one thing I remember crystal clearly is how my feet felt. Because it was so striking to me. I thought they were going to scream at me, but they didn’t. In fact, I’m pretty sure I heard them say…

“Thank you for bringing us home.”

That’s what it felt like. Like my feet were home. Finally home.

So odd. Completely unexpected. And NOT AT ALL how I expect them to be feeling after an actually pointe class. 🙂

Isn’t it amazing what we can do when we allow ourselves to want it? thats the thing I really wanted to write about today. 

Dreams, be them big or small, all need a start. If I hadn’t ever allowed myself to want to dance en pointe, if I had never let the secret out of the vault, it never would have happened.

I have found that the most important part of achieving your dreams is daring to say you want them in the first place. You’ve gotta let those babies out. 

It’s almost like, if you keep them inside you, even you can’t see them clearly. So how can they get started?

It’s really scary but for your dreams to light up, they need a spark. Saying them out loud is the spark. If you don’t want to speak them then start by writing them down. But let them out.

Give them the spark they need to get started.

I have loved looking back at this post today. It’s helped me to see what my own courage and determination can lead to. Something I never thought would happen did happen.

Can’t wait to see what’s next!

P.S: just so you know, my comments section is a safe haven for dream sparks. 🙂

   

   

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4 Questions to Find Your Calling

I don’t believe callings, dreams or paths need to be big in order to be worthy. Some turn out to be big, but the size of them isn’t what makes them a path or a calling. It is just essentially how they make us feel. 

And I do find that a lot of people are unsatisfied with their life until they start living authentically, or in other words, start doing shit they love. 

I used to think that I needed to make peace with the mundane in my life and that I was stupid for ever wanting more than mundane. I watched people laughing and having a good time in spite of their mundane and felt as though there was something wrong with me for feeling so damn numb within my mundane stuff. 

Reaaaaaally happy that I found a window out of that world of thought ’cause holy crappola that was causing me grief.

My realisation and new way of thinking was (and still is) that it’s not what I thought. 

Those people who I thought were happy with their ‘mundane’? One of two things is going there. Either: 

1) What I percieved to be their mundane isn’t really mundane to them. They love it! It is exactly what fills them up with joy. They ARE on their path, it’s just a different path to mine. 

 or 

2) They’re bullshitting. Not really happy. And covering up their unhappiness with facades of fake ‘we-must-look-like-we-fucking-love-our-perfect-lives’ laughter. 

And either way, that’s okay. My big lesson was that it isn’t me. There’s nothing wrong with me wanting something different. There’s nothing wrong with whatever I want! 

There’s nothing wrong with whatever YOU want! 🙂 

My biggest inspiration that keeps me going in life and dance is my “follow your heart” motto.

‘Cause I just don’t think you can go wrong with that baby. 

This subject of following your heart, finding your path, realising your dream etc. fascinates me. I am intensely drawn to it. 

Why some people do it and others don’t. 

What gets in the way of fulfilling your dream and how to work around those obstacles. 

How to let go of always having to know and plan the way forward and let your path show you the way.

How you even find out what your path is!

I have been reading and watching more and more about this subject recently, just because I am so drawn to it. And I wanted to share these four gems of questions that I really love.

These questions are from Steven Pressfield and Oprah Winfrey — from one of Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday interviews.

Okay, so these are 4 helpful questions to ask yourself, if you want to know what your calling/path/dream is:

1) What are you more afraid of doing, than anything in the world?

2) What would you do if you knew you were going to die in 3 months?

3) What would you do if fear were not a factor?

4) Did you want to do something when you were a child that you were told you couldn’t or shouldn’t do? 



And here is the video clip from this insightful interview…

http://youtu.be/4Rl0N2W7arw 

I hope this post is helpful to someone, or at the very least, a fun read.

xxx Zoë

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Rollin' Along

Finally got me a foam roller — woohoo! Can roll out those tight muscles. 

Feels gee-or-geous!

Here’s a pic of my new toy, and another pic from a photo I took on a bridge the other day (for anyone who isn’t following the fb page).

Hope everyone’s doing great!

🙂





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Meet Lorry!

Hello everyone! I’m happy to finally be presenting to you, the ballet enthusiast and student, Lorry aka @Bead_109 over on Twitter.

Lorry Perez

Let’s hear about Lorry’s experience…

Why did you start ballet classes as an adult?

I never thought much about dancing as a child. I wasn’t a natural mover and I was sickly, so I was the antithesis of athletic. As a young adult, I discovered ballet through the music; classical music was the soundtrack of my life. I fell in love with ballet – not all dance – pretty much just classical ballet. I attended a dance gala in 2011 and experienced a performance by dancers Patrick de Bana and Dimo Kirilov. They danced a contemporary piece choreographed by Patrick called Creatures. It was life changing, truly life changing. I was inspired, ignited, to find my own way of moving, my own music, my own dance, and so I begin to look for adult ballet classes. Even though it was a contemporary piece that started me on the journey, the dance was founded in classical ballet and it is still my true love.

What do you love most about ballet classes?

I love everything about ballet class. I love that classes are challenging both for my body and my mind. I love that we work to beautiful music. I love ballet class wear – pointe shoes, leg warmers, leotards, flowing skirts. I love the technical aspect of barre work and the freedom of center work. I love that when I walk out of ballet class, sweated through and sore, my entire being is happy.

Has ballet had a big effect on your life? If yes, in what way?

Ballet has completely changed my life. That sounds like a outrageous statement but it is completely true. Ballet has made me more aware of myself and helped me to find my self-worth. Ballet has made me more social and brought me the most wonderful friendships. Ballet has opened doors for me that I never imagined – I’ve travelled, met amazing people, and experienced soul moving art and artists.

When I go to ballet class, everything is better. I eat better, I stay hydrated, I stretch and go to the gym willingly, I deal with stress, I sleep well, I’m more optimistic and active.

Day to day and over the past three years, ballet has positively impacted everything in my life.

What has your experience of adult ballet teachers been?

      • Have they been understanding/gentle/positive/encouraging etc?
      • Or have they been harsh (in a mean way)/negative/discouraging?
      • Perhaps you’ve experienced different types of teachers?

I ran into a bunch of really bad teachers when I first started looking into classes – when I say bad I mean teachers that didn’t really want to be teaching beginning adult students, who didn’t see the value in teaching ballet to adults, and who couldn’t be bothered to care about adult students.

Then I was fortunate enough to find a wonderful teacher who was encouraging, devoted to beginning adults students, and who enjoys teaching beginning adults. Since then I’ve found many other teachers who see the value of teaching ballet to adults and who take the process seriously enough to teach true classical ballet to adult students with passion.

Is there anything you would like adult ballet teachers to do more or less of?

I love teachers who are strict about the technique, who set a high bar(re) and help students reach it. I enjoy lots and lots of corrections and I love to be challenged. I love it when teachers use great music and help me understand the musicality and the actual movement within the music.

More classes, more dancing, more work, more going to see ballet, more, more, more!!

Most embarrassing ballet class moment?

Well, let’s just say… never wear a light colored cotton leotard on a very hot and sweaty day; if you fall on your face during an across the floor exercise, get out of the way so that you don’t become ballet road kill; and, if you wear socks during barre, you have to be careful that you don’t slide into mirror and leave a big sweat mark on it with your face.

If you could see any ballet anywhere in the world, which ballet would you see and where would you see it?

I’ve been so very fortunate to be able to travel to see some incredible ballet in some amazing places – New York, Paris, London, Tokyo, and most recently Shanghai. I hope that I will be able to continue to travel and enjoy art around the world. On my wish list – Russia and Australia.

If you could be taught by any teacher, either alive today or from the past, who would it be and why?

I would love to have the opportunity to train with any of the great dancers who are now teachers and coaches from the Paris Opera Ballet. The French school is one that I admire so much – the elegance, the clean, gorgeous technique – I love it. Isabelle Guerin, Elisabeth Platel, Monique Loudieres, or Elisabeth Maurin would be fabulous!!

If you could dance a pas de deux with anyone in the world, who would it be and why?

My dream partner is Manuel Legris. I would also die to learn Creatures and to dance it with Patrick de Bana. Manuel Legris is a perfect example of the most beautiful danseur noble – quick, light, elegant, perfect technique, and caring, lovely partnering. And he’s adorable. I love Patrick de Bana’s choreography. It’s instinctual and visceral but also intelligent and profound. His work is filled with soul and meaning; he knows how to work not just with mime and story but with meaning and symbolism. He’s also a beautiful, lanky dancer – arms and legs that just float up for miles. Add in the hoop earrings and the big tribal tats, and this man is walking art.

Have you received either negative judgement or positive support about starting ballet as an adult? How did the positive support make you feel? And how did you deal with the negative stuff?

In my “normal” world, not many of my friends are ballet people. They aren’t really negative about my passion for my ballet but they aren’t positive about it either, they don’t understand it. My new ballet friends, both virtual and from my classes, are wonderful – they “get” my passion for ballet. I’m fortunate that my most important relationship, my husband, supports my new love. He isn’t a ballet fan but he will attend occasionally and he enjoys the travel part but most of all, he sees and appreciates the fact that ballet has been good for me. Ballet makes me a better me and anyone who knows me and cares about me, appreciates that and supports me and that’s what counts.

Thank you so much, Lorry! I loved your responses, your insight into the adult ballet world and your inspiration to follow your heart.

xxx Bush

 

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Better Pirouettes!

Little by little. Step by step…

Now if I could just stop my body from wanting to do doubles. :/

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Extra Exciting Surprise For You From Me!

Hey gorgeous friends! I did a pretty exciting and nerve racking thing today. I actually SPEAK on my latest video. Yep, open my mouth and let the words flow forth! It was incredibly eekish, but I really wanted to connect with you all in a more “real lifeish” kind of way.

Here it is. Let me know if you like it! 🙂

P.S, had another lovely ballet class today. 

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New Video of Bush Ballerina for Your Amusement :)

Seriously raw dance moves happening in this video, lol, but I am proud of just getting up and doing it. Had such a fun time. I even attempted to learn the centre work I was learning in my last Sydney class. The backward attitude turn thingo is a very hard one, especially for peeps like me who don’t like to lift one foot off the ground, let alone lift one leg up and then spin around BACKWARDS, while somehow making it look smooth. 

So I’m chuffed that I’m lifting that little footy off the ground at all! 🙂 But yeah, raw as buggery. So please, don’t be looking for perfection! 

Happy living and dancing 🙂